Hey did I ever tell you about that time I got
My bike stolen?
It was the same day that my back window
Got smashed in.
How do I remember?
Because the person that stole my bike
Had to smash my car window to get
To my bike that was in the car.
NE hoo, it’s kinduva crazy story
It was when I worked at a middle
School in the not so nice part of town.
I think Will Smith would have had
His hands full with the type of people
That made trouble in these neighborhoods
So one day I go out at lunchtime
To find my trunk open and my bike missing.
As I went to close the trunk, I hear a
Crunching sound and see pieces
Of my back window fall onto the trunk
Through my now 1/4 convertible
I could see that there was a huge rock
That had apparently went through my
Window, bounced off my radio and
Fell onto the passenger side floor mat.
So now I’m a grown man stalking campus
Asking other grown men if they’ve seen
I couldn’t have felt more low until I
In fact, found another grown-up who
Had seen my bicycle and saw when
Someone took it.
Oh hellz yeah!
I was ready to rampage!!
What did he look like? Let’s catch him
Then use him as the support beam
For a bike ramp.
“It was a kid,” he said
And my heart immediately sank…
But he said he saw it all on camera
Because he was the security guard.
Part of me was excited, but another
Part of me kinda wondered like
WTF is he getting paid for if he
Literally saw someone break into
My car and decided that it would
Be better to wait to tell the person
That he saw what happened
Rather than you know…
Maybe doing something?!?!
So anyway, we call the cops
Cuz you know we got
Security cameras so at least
We know who did it.
So now the police are there
And they’ve come out of their
Cars to ask for a statement from
The security guard (main witness)
They go back with him to look at
The video tape and come back out
About 5 minutes later with empty
Notepads and pens in pockets
They start walking towards me and
Without missing a beat, ask me if
I’d like to even file a report because
Chances are they wouldn’t even
Find the kid who did it.
Of course not with that attitude!
I thought to myself…
But what I actually said was,
“Didn’t you find anything on the video?
They turn and say that they couldn’t
Really do anything because the quality
Of the video was too low. They couldn’t
Make out a face.
Great, so security thinks they’re
Watching reality television on a really low
Quality screen all day.
The police have no confidence that they
Can solve crimes and the only redeeming
Quality about the whole situation is that
I know it was a human being.
Awesome! At least we now know it’s not
Some pissed off hawk that had had
Enough of humans and was going on a
I don’t know where I am really going
From here, I just thought it was a funny
The police never found my bike, nor did
We ever get to find out who broke my window
Although it was clearly a kid from the school.
There is one thing that is true however,
This is a story, it most likely didn’t happen
Exactly this way, because I’m relying on
This one got away from me, but let me
Share something with you.
Memory is a fickle thing, you can believe
In it, but it doesn’t mean it will always
Serve you well. I meant to tell a story
About a famous study about memory
But I’ll just leave you with this instead:
Your mind makes up stories that help
Your memory fit the context of your
Current state of mind. Memory is
Rarely 100% accurate, but what
Matters most is that your memories
Accurate or not, should help
Serve you in making decisions in
The future that will help you to
Create more positive memories.
Jerry “memories” Washington
P.S. What side did the rock fall on
In my car? Don’t remember? It’s
Probably because your mind didn’t
Find it to be an important detail.
I would like you to consider that
Our memory isn’t perfect and neither
Is anyone on this planet.
We all want to improve however and
Although our memory supposedly gets
Worse when you get older, you can
Actually improve your life overall
With help from your friends at
Project SELFFY. Talk soon…