Some people find it absolutely impossible to respect someone that doesn’t respect them. I get it though. An eye for an eye right?
I hate to break to you broham, but adults deal with problems and unfortunately, the silent treatment or electing to avoid people altogether just doesn’t always work.
So how do you work with someone who seems to refuse to work with you?
I’ll tell you, brotagonist and it’s actually pretty simple. It all boils down to trust.
You see, the first thing we have to remember is that we are all humans. We are all people that, believe it or not, have more or less the same interests.
But the problem is that most people are so concerned with the differences that they fail to see where we are all similar. We all sin, none of us are perfect so to respect someone else, despite their shortcomings, is to acknowledge your own faults.
I know it’s hard to admit you aren’t perfect, I really wish you were, but I’m not either so let’s work from there.
Once you can admit that you have faults just like everyone else including that jerk that’s giving you trouble, then you can start to put in some work.
In the book Crucial Conversations, which has helped top CEOs over the past decade or so, they talk about the fact that once you can find commonality in any interaction, you can begin to start a dialogue.
When you start a dialogue you begin to have trust, especially when you are talking to someone that you now realize is a lot like you. It’s not easy at first, but the key is to always go into any conversation with respect for the other person’s perspective.
We’re all equal and we all deserve mutual respect when in a conversation. You may not get the respect at first, but if you commit to finding a solution that works for you AND the other person, you’ll find that you’ll start to get good at getting what you want while also becoming someone that everyone automatically respects.
The most important thing to consider is that our mind works off of stories. You may not agree with someone simply because of the stories you have told yourself about another person. If you change your story you can change your attitude.
Jerry “let’s talk about it” Washington
P.S. One thing I did forget to mention is to make sure the other person that is talking with you feels safe. It is hard to have any type of productive conversation if the other person believes you are just trying to win them over with fake charm or bowl them over with a harsh attitude. Making someone feel safe is never foolproof, but the best way to start is by expressing your genuine desire to find a solution that works for you and the other person.