So you missed me yesterday.
I was driving down to Georgia
Because I had some emergency
Family business to attend to.
We’re still gonna have to wait
To see what happens, but in the
Meantime, I’m just happen to have
The opportunity and the freedom
To get down here as fast as I could.
Now you might be asking, now
Why would I drive if I was in such
A rush to get down here?
Don’t I have like a rainy day fund?
Well yes of course, but the thing is
That I actually would rather drive
And I’ll tell you why.
It all happened about 2 years ago
I was flying off to see my family in
Rhode Island and I was actually
On time for the flight.
It was actually kinda nice to not
Be rushing to the gate and having the
Opportunity to grab a slice of pizza
Before I boarded the flight.
We were all set to depart
And there was this commotion
Coming from behind me
This guy like 4 seats behind me
Was saying to the stewardess that
It didn’t fit.
I turned around to see this (at least)
400 pound guy that barely fit into 2
Seats, trying to get a seatbelt on.
He and the stewardess were wrestling
With his seatbelt and trying to get it
Around his humongous waistline.
“It doesn’t fit,” he grunted again
Just then, the stewardess rushes up
To the front of the plane and after
A few minutes, we hear the pilot…
One of the smoothest voices
I’ve ever heard before, comes over
The loud speaker and says
“We’re sorry folks, but we’re
Experiencing some delays with
Apparently, this guy needed what
Was called a seat belt extender
But this guy was so delusional that
He blamed it on the airlines and
Said they need bigger seats.
I’m not one to always judge (just sometimes)
But this guy was mad
It probably had something to do with the
Collective sign of everyone on the plane
But he kept yelling towards the cockpit
How he shouldn’t have to wear a seat belt
Anyway, because what’s that gonna do
If we crash? Good point, but we still
Had to wait.
Delusion can be put people in some
Interesting positions sometimes.
But we all NEED a certain level of it.
I think back to when I first started
Training on my own. I was still new
To the training industry so I was
Really nervous and also hopeful
But my first session was TERRIBLE
I mean it was my friends and I
Still messed up…a LOT. I forgot the
Names of exercises. I couldn’t count
One person even got hurt.
Thank goodness we were friends!
When I got home, my girlfriend
At the time asked me how it went.
I flashed her the biggest smile and
Told her it went amazing.
Because in my mind it did.
I mean I could have focused on all the
Terrible things that happened, but
I chose not to engage those thoughts
Because they did not serve me.
In life, you might find that there are
Times when you have to be just
A little delusional. You have to
Tell yourself that you can when it’s
Clear that you can’t.
You might not be successful at first
But you eventually, at least won’t
Jerry “not terrible” Washington
P.S. That plane was delayed over
An hour while they looked for
Seat belt extenders. Knowing that
Over half of our country’s population
Is either overweight or obese, I’d
Rather just take my chances driving.