Delusional Mess

So you missed me yesterday.

I was driving down to Georgia

Because I had some emergency 

Family business to attend to.


We’re still gonna have to wait

To see what happens, but in the

Meantime, I’m just happen to have

The opportunity and the freedom

To get down here as fast as I could.


Now you might be asking, now

Why would I drive if I was in such 

A rush to get down here? 

Don’t I have like a rainy day fund?


Well yes of course, but the thing is

That I actually would rather drive

And I’ll tell you why.


It all happened about 2 years ago

I was flying off to see my family in

Rhode Island and I was actually 

On time for the flight.


It was actually kinda nice to not

Be rushing to the gate and having the

Opportunity to grab a slice of pizza 

Before I boarded the flight. 

We were all set to depart 

And there was this commotion  

Coming from behind me

This guy like 4 seats behind me

Was saying to the stewardess that

It didn’t fit. 


I turned around to see this (at least)

400 pound guy that barely fit into 2

Seats, trying to get a seatbelt on.

He and the stewardess were wrestling

With his seatbelt and trying to get it

Around his humongous waistline.  


“It doesn’t fit,” he grunted again

Just then, the stewardess rushes up

To the front of the plane and after

A few minutes, we hear the pilot…


One of the smoothest voices 

I’ve ever heard before, comes over

The loud speaker and says

We’re sorry folks, but we’re

Experiencing some delays with

Our departure.


Apparently, this guy needed what

Was called a seat belt extender

But this guy was so delusional that

He blamed it on the airlines and

Said they need bigger seats.


I’m not one to always judge (just sometimes)

But this guy was mad

It probably had something to do with the

Collective sign of everyone on the plane

But he kept yelling towards the cockpit

How he shouldn’t have to wear a seat belt

Anyway, because what’s that gonna do

If we crash? Good point, but we still

Had to wait.


Delusion can be put people in some

Interesting positions sometimes.

But we all NEED a certain level of it.


I think back to when I first started

Training on my own. I was still new

To the training industry so I was

Really nervous and also hopeful

But my first session was TERRIBLE

I mean it was my friends and I

Still messed up…a LOT. I forgot the

Names of exercises. I couldn’t count

One person even got hurt.
Thank goodness we were friends!


When I got home, my girlfriend

At the time asked me how it went.

I flashed her the biggest smile and

Told her it went amazing.

Because in my mind it did.


I mean I could have focused on all the

Terrible things that happened, but

I chose not to engage those thoughts

Because they did not serve me.


In life, you might find that there are

Times when you have to be just

A little delusional. You have to

Tell yourself that you can when it’s

Clear that you can’t.


You might not be successful at first

But you eventually, at least won’t

Be terrible.


Jerry “not terrible” Washington


P.S. That plane was delayed over

An hour while they looked for

Seat belt extenders. Knowing that

Over half of our country’s population

Is either overweight or obese, I’d

Rather just take my chances driving.

Talk soon…

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