As a military brat, I’ve been privy to a lot of things that civilians might not necessary be exposed to, but access to the best mental health professionals is not one you would think of immediately.
But when you think about it, with all those families moving and wars being fought you gotta talk to someone right???
Well, before I moved up to Alaska to finish off high school, I had talked to one of those aforementioned health professionals and the advice I got is probably some of the most useful advice I’ve gotten to this day. In fact, it’s so useful that I’m kind of ashamed that I haven’t revealed this sooner as many of my clients and friends could use this advice with their own families.
You see there are many people that experience pain from not being present. If you don’t know what I mean, consider this: you’re somewhere swimming in a beautiful ocean, but you can’t stop wondering if you left the iron on at home. Presence is key to understanding your feelings and enjoying the moment.
You might relate to this if you’ve got a family but also have a job. For some, it’s a constant juggling act both physically and emotional as it pertains to spending time at work or with your family.
But here’s the answer! If you’ve ever beat yourself up or feel guilty about leaving either work or home you’re gonna wanna read this life “hack.”
The thing is that when you are feeling guilty, you cut yourself off from any possibility of change. It’s with that possibility you can feel remorse and actually have the ability to go back and observe your feelings so that you can think of ways you can communicate them.
And here’s the real world application. As I was moving up to Alaska I had this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that wasn’t relieved until I actually told my friends, family, and anyone who would listen, that I didn’t want to move and that I truly had fun getting to know them.
That was it, that’s all it takes brozilla. Don’t push your feelings down, because they never get dealt with. All that causes is anxiety that feeds guilt. And that guilt goes on to feed more anxiety.
Keep those feelings on the surface. Be aware of them, express them and let people know because they might be feeling the same thing and you just might turn out to be a hero because everyone else was thinking the same thing, but didn’t have the wherewithal to speak up.
So in short, be a hero by being aware of your own feelings and making it a priority to express them.
Jerry “mover and (butt) shaker” Washington
P.S. Tell your family and friends that you love them at any and every possibility. Because you can’t come back from guilt, but you can always change your feelings about remorse. Talk soon…