Friday Freak ‘Um

Since I started writing this blog
My life has really changed
Now everything that happens
To me is a possible writing/learning/teaching experience
Here’s another that happened to me a few days back:

So I’m training a new client the other day and we’re doing a
Movement that focused on his hips, the only problem
Was the only thing that wasn’t moving on him was…
His hips
I said to him
Dude it’s a wonder you can even tie your shoes with
How little you can move your hips

Just then a million thoughts went into my mind about his
Personal life (yes, I think about yours too and I’m sure you mine)
I’m thinking to myself,
If he always moves his hips like that
I reckon he does not have a lot of women raving about his
“Performance”

Yes, it’s about to go down
Let’s talk about sex bay-bee
(Not you and me)

You see like the average man who thinks about sex
Every 5 minutes (fact)
I have a lot to say about this topic, alas
I won’t go on too long
(That’s what she said)

Ok let’s get a little serious here.
Fitness and sex are damn near synonymous
I remember in Adam Sandler’s hay day
He made a comedy CD that featured a sketch
Of “guess the activity” where he played a tape for people
And they had to guess which activity two people
Were doing and the results were hilarious

I digress, the fitter you are, the better you are gonna look
I mean sex is great, but it loses a bit of appeal when you
Have do it with the lights off and
95 percent of your clothes still on

So you get fit, you have better sex
Then what?

Well broseph, then you start feeling more confident
Then damned near invincible
And when you’re invincible well
Dude the sky’s the limit.

Talking about sex shouldn’t make you uncomfortable cupcake
In fact if it weren’t for sex your ass wouldn’t be here in the first place
So yeah working out can make you happy because you look good
But oh what a world you open up when you stop
Dreaming
Flakebooking
Tweeting
Swiping right
And start realizing that putting a legitimate
Living breathing profile out in the real world

Will get you well…
Laid

Increase your chance of getting laid by 80% by clicking this link here: http://generalfitnesscompany.com/

Jerry “Boung chica bown wow” Washington

 

P.S. As always if anything I say here makes you uncomfortable. GOOD! I can’t you make things better by telling you want to hear. Speaking of which, here’s that Adam Sandler skit I was talking about. Talk soon…

 

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